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  • Writer's pictureEric Navas

How Marriage by Faith actually works

Updated: Jun 24, 2018

The "shepherd" or "missionary" will tell you that marriage by faith is when you pray and God shows you your marriage partner. This is a LIE!!!

In this post I will explain in detail how marriage by faith really works in UBF.

But first I will show you (as a refresher) of the UBF discipleship model:

Sheep Training (up to 5 years)

Stage 1: Birthing (1 to 9 months)

Goal – commit to bible study Starts after first bible study

Stage 2: Rooting (1 to 2 years)

Goal – adopt the UBF worldview Starts after Sunday service attendance

Stage 3: Growing (1 to 2 years)

Goal – pursue more training Starts after sharing Life Testimony

Shepherd Training (2 to 4 years)

Stage 4: Disciple Training (about 1 year)

Goal – identity as “Shepherd X” Starts after joining common life

Stage 5: Soldier Training (1 to 2 years)

Goal – obedience to UBF authorities Starts after college graduation

Stage 6: Leader Training (about 1 year)

Goal – loyalty for life Starts after Marriage by Faith

In order to be a candidate for "marriage by faith" you have to be:

- In Stage 5 of the disciple model

-Living in the "common life"

-Be a committed member for at least 5 years

If you don't meet all three requirements especially the common life quota you won't go through the process. There are 2 exceptions to this which I will explain later.

Once your bible teacher believes you are ready they will ask you to memorize Hebrews 11:1.

Later they will ask you to a secret meeting. To reveal who your bride/groom will be.

They will do this in one of two ways. You will be told "This is whom God wants you to marry" or "Do you like _____________?" If your marriage is an international one meaning you are not being married to someone within your chapter they will also show you a photo of your future bride/groom.

If you say No your bible teacher or "missionary" will rebuke you or treat you differently. If you say Yes they will flatter you.

If your future marriage partner is within the same chapter then your bible teacher/chapter director will arrange a meeting between you and your bride/groom where the guy asks the woman "Will you marry me?"

The Wedding Ceremonies are very controlling and manipulated by the chapter director like this:

-Family of the bride/groom are told at the very last minute

-Only the assigned photographer is allowed to take photos

-The ceremony is by invite only (only church members are allowed to attend)

-Ex-members and outsiders aren't allowed to come even if their Christian

- The Seniors and the chapter director get to decided who is worthy to attend

In the wedding the chapter director NEVER ASKS the attendees "If anyone objects to this marriage you make speak now or forever hold your peace" This is not an accident. It's done on purpose.

Finally on that Sunday (all UBF weddings are on Saturday) before worship service proceeds the marriage is announced and the bride & groom give their testimony of how they accepted marriage by faith wholeheartedly or how they had doubts but "repented".

This is more of less the general process/format of marriage by faith.

Here are two exceptions:

-2nd Gens

-When the chapter/church has a crisis

When 2nd Gens I'm guessing it is similar but different. I don't know for sure :(

When the chapter has a crisis (meaning when an exodus happens: lot of members leave) the bride or groom candidates have not been there for 5 years and they haven't been in the common life. This is because the chapter director typical conducts a marriage spree in fear of losing promising/loyal members.

If there is anything I miss or any errors please feel free to correct and comment :)

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